Tiki Death Punch...
Two recipes for the infamous ‘Friends' inspired cocktail
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So what do we know about this drink so far?
- It’s blended
- It’s red
- And it has rum in it.
Anything else we add into the mix is down to a more intuitive approach, based on knowing the girls in question and understanding their intent – which was to get boozy at a slumber party. Enough said really.
Bearing in mind the episode aired on October 13th, 1994, there really isn’t a lot of material out there, however a couple of people have had a crack at decoding this drink (I say decoding, as ‘making it up’ doesn’t sound anywhere near as articulate). Both recipes are completely different, one is a little more relaxed and easier to make, whilst the other (from the good folks over at Modern Tiki) is in line with the flavour balance of a contemporary tiki creation.
They both however share the ‘intent’ of the original – to get drunk on something tasty and easy. And I reckon they’re pretty good interpretations. Have you ever heard of a Suicide Drink? Don’t worry, it’s not as drastic as it sounds – when you go into a fast food restaurant and they have a self-service drink section, you can make one by mixing at least 3 of the flavours together – Coke, Dr Pepper and Sprite anyone?
Both of the punch recipes seem to take a slice of this view (though with varying degrees of subtlety), mixing up a decent combination of back shelf liquors like there’s no tomorrow.
So, in the immortal words of Rachel, ‘Let’s play twister!’ 
Tiki Death Punch - 'Monica’s' Version
Ingredients
- 1/2 oz Gold Rum
- 1/2 oz Dark Rum
- 1/2 oz White Rum
- 1 oz Strawberry Syrup
- 2 oz Pineapple Juice
- 1/2 oz Fresh Lime Juice
- 8 oz Ice - for blending
- 1/2 A Lime Wedge
Method
- Add all ingredients into a blender and blitz until the sound of the ice cracking stops.
- Pour into a tall glass, adding your lime wedge as garnish.
Notes
- Mix all your liquors and fruit juices before adding ice to the blender - this'll ensure all ingredients are evenly distributed throughout the drink.
- If you've cracked or crushed ice to hand then start with this rather than using ice cubes (but don't worry if you haven't, it just makes it a little easier).
- Aim for the liquid and the ice level to come to the same height in the blender, thus ensuring a good starting ratio.
- Begin your blending on pulse mode, starting and stopping the motor in short bursts, breaking down the larger pieces of ice.
- Then build up the speed, working through the speed cycles of your blender.
- Part way through, give it a stir, dislodging any last large chunks, and carry on through your cycle till you reach the desired consistency (making sure you turn the blender off whilst stirring!)
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Tiki Death Punch - The 'Connoisseur’s' Version
Ingredients
- 1/2 oz Overproof Rum
- 1/2 oz Bourbon
- 1/2 oz White Rum
- 1/2 oz Gin
- 1/2 oz Giffard Pamplemousse
- 1/4 oz Orgeat - preferably homemade
- 3/4 oz Fresh Lime Juice
- 3/4 oz Simple Syrup
- 2 Luxardo Cherries - with stems - plus some syrup from the bottle
- 1 Sprig of Mint
Method
- Pour all ingredients into a shaker, then add enough ice to show above the surface of the liquid.
- Shake vigorously for 15-20 seconds, strain and pour into a chilled Hurricane or Highball glass filled with crushed ice.
- Drizzle a bar-spoon of the cherry syrup over the drink, letting it pool like blood in the mix.
- Garnish by working a sprig of mint into the ice and placing the two cherries on the top.
Notes
Looking for more Tiki Slumber Party inspiration?
Not satisfied with having a whole jug of Tiki Death Punch between you and your friends? Craving a few more drinks that are just perfect for that Friday night in?
Don’t despair, here are three drinks guaranteed to keep that party going:
- The Blue Hawaiian – blended and blue, it’s a perfect companion to your Tiki Death Punch.
- Jamaican Dirty Banana – straight from the heart of your favorite Jamaican holiday, we bring you the dirtiest of dirty bananas.
- The Bahama Mama – pineapple sweetness wrapped around a coconut rum center!
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Thank you. Mahalo.
